Saturday, March 08, 2008
Beijing Week 2
So I've been in Beijing now for almost 2 weeks. I've had the chance to attend the international church here and it's some amazing stuff. I'll try to briefly summarize some key stuff
2 weeks ago: Speaker was a 70-yr old guy from Taiwan who had spent 10 years working as a minister in a prison. 12 years ago he was told his health would only give him a few more monthes. Hearing this, he told his doctor he wanted to spend his last months in China because he was a Chinese person. He sold off his stuff and came to China with his wife. Teaching, ministering, travelling, etc. and that's been the last 12 years.
That day, he preached on being 'salt and light'. Though this passage has been preached many atime, his angle gave surprising insight. In the passage, it mentions that a lamp should not be lit to be kept under a bowl. According to the speaker, people had to have been accustomed to doing this or Jesus wouldn't have asked them not to do it. As well, culturally, this bowl that they speak of, was such that if the lamp was placed inside, it would extinguish the lamp. Therefore, in trying to prevent other people from using YOUR lamp with oil that YOU paid for, this person was sacrificing their own usage of the light.
The speaker spoke of a farmer who discovered a special breed of corn that had lots of health benefits as well as potential to be used as alternative energy, and lots of other good stuff. When asked how much he'd sell the seed for, he said he'd give it to his neighbours for free. If he charged a high price, likely not many people would buy it. The wind would blow the pollen from his neighbour's 'bad' corn onto his field, thus contaminating his super corn. If he gave the see to his neighbours, everyone around him would have good pollen to share, thus keeping the species pure.
Lastly, he shared about his life since he thought he was going to die. He boasted openly about all the places, people, food, travelling he's experienced. It was refreshing to hear this. More often than not, we downplay the blessings that God has showered us with, we try not to talk about stuff that is really good. He didn't. He felt it right to boast in Christ about all that he had been given and not something to hide or feel guilty about.
Last week, the regular scheduled speaker spoke about David and how he wasn't given huge opportunities or lots of education or chances to shine. He was out there herding sheep. But while doing this monotonous task, he skilled himself in caring for the sheep, fighting off fierce animals, writing psalms.
When the Philistines sent Goliath out, the Israelites said 'he's so big, how can we beat him?' but David's attitude was just the contrary, 'he's so big, how can we miss?'. It's all simply a matter of perception. He made do with what he had.
Point: We are asked to use the skills and talents God gave us to handle the situations we are faced with. When we are faced with monotony, use it as time for self improvement/preparation. When faced with trials, call on that which you have learned in your moments of solitude.
It's good to be fed again....
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So I've been in Beijing now for almost 2 weeks. I've had the chance to attend the international church here and it's some amazing stuff. I'll try to briefly summarize some key stuff
2 weeks ago: Speaker was a 70-yr old guy from Taiwan who had spent 10 years working as a minister in a prison. 12 years ago he was told his health would only give him a few more monthes. Hearing this, he told his doctor he wanted to spend his last months in China because he was a Chinese person. He sold off his stuff and came to China with his wife. Teaching, ministering, travelling, etc. and that's been the last 12 years.
That day, he preached on being 'salt and light'. Though this passage has been preached many atime, his angle gave surprising insight. In the passage, it mentions that a lamp should not be lit to be kept under a bowl. According to the speaker, people had to have been accustomed to doing this or Jesus wouldn't have asked them not to do it. As well, culturally, this bowl that they speak of, was such that if the lamp was placed inside, it would extinguish the lamp. Therefore, in trying to prevent other people from using YOUR lamp with oil that YOU paid for, this person was sacrificing their own usage of the light.
The speaker spoke of a farmer who discovered a special breed of corn that had lots of health benefits as well as potential to be used as alternative energy, and lots of other good stuff. When asked how much he'd sell the seed for, he said he'd give it to his neighbours for free. If he charged a high price, likely not many people would buy it. The wind would blow the pollen from his neighbour's 'bad' corn onto his field, thus contaminating his super corn. If he gave the see to his neighbours, everyone around him would have good pollen to share, thus keeping the species pure.
Lastly, he shared about his life since he thought he was going to die. He boasted openly about all the places, people, food, travelling he's experienced. It was refreshing to hear this. More often than not, we downplay the blessings that God has showered us with, we try not to talk about stuff that is really good. He didn't. He felt it right to boast in Christ about all that he had been given and not something to hide or feel guilty about.
Last week, the regular scheduled speaker spoke about David and how he wasn't given huge opportunities or lots of education or chances to shine. He was out there herding sheep. But while doing this monotonous task, he skilled himself in caring for the sheep, fighting off fierce animals, writing psalms.
When the Philistines sent Goliath out, the Israelites said 'he's so big, how can we beat him?' but David's attitude was just the contrary, 'he's so big, how can we miss?'. It's all simply a matter of perception. He made do with what he had.
Point: We are asked to use the skills and talents God gave us to handle the situations we are faced with. When we are faced with monotony, use it as time for self improvement/preparation. When faced with trials, call on that which you have learned in your moments of solitude.
It's good to be fed again....
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Sunday, December 30, 2007
Happy New Year!
I feel that the following clip truly captures the hopes, dreams and warmth that 2008 will bring:
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I feel that the following clip truly captures the hopes, dreams and warmth that 2008 will bring:
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Thursday, December 27, 2007
embracing adversity
"6For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. 7 For it is only right for me to feel this way about you all, because I have you in my heart, since both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers of grace with me." ~ Philippians 1:6-7
The first part of this passage is often used as encouragement to persevere through a rough patch. It's meant to remind us that when we are in difficult times, it's actually a good thing that God is doing in us.
But who's definition of 'good' are we talking about? Is it good from our end? v.7 speaks of imprisonment so the 'good' cannot possibly be a constant bed of roses. Is it good if you look at it from His end, because it's part of His overall plan? How is any of this encouraging? I would think that if it was unpleasant, we wouldn't want God to finish what He started.
Regardless of angle of perception, it is 'good'. The trial may be difficult, but it is good for us. The suffering is part of His plan and His plan is good. We are meant to embrace adversity because it is God working in us, building us up, teaching us something, preparing us for greater battles.
Do we ever fully embrace adversity? do we ever fully rejoice in difficulty? definitely easier said than done...
~ He cares enough to discipline... so that you become a strong, and learned individual
~ He loves enough to teach/train... so that you won't make the same mistakes, lest there be more pain
~ He has enough faith in you that you can do this... with His support so you recognize His role in the partnership
He made you the way you are so that you could handle everything you're meant to handle in your life. And having the hope that we do is not about having the pain go away or even that there's a happy ending to it all.
It's about not suffering in vain. There is purpose to our difficulties.
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"6For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. 7 For it is only right for me to feel this way about you all, because I have you in my heart, since both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers of grace with me." ~ Philippians 1:6-7
The first part of this passage is often used as encouragement to persevere through a rough patch. It's meant to remind us that when we are in difficult times, it's actually a good thing that God is doing in us.
But who's definition of 'good' are we talking about? Is it good from our end? v.7 speaks of imprisonment so the 'good' cannot possibly be a constant bed of roses. Is it good if you look at it from His end, because it's part of His overall plan? How is any of this encouraging? I would think that if it was unpleasant, we wouldn't want God to finish what He started.
Regardless of angle of perception, it is 'good'. The trial may be difficult, but it is good for us. The suffering is part of His plan and His plan is good. We are meant to embrace adversity because it is God working in us, building us up, teaching us something, preparing us for greater battles.
Do we ever fully embrace adversity? do we ever fully rejoice in difficulty? definitely easier said than done...
~ He cares enough to discipline... so that you become a strong, and learned individual
~ He loves enough to teach/train... so that you won't make the same mistakes, lest there be more pain
~ He has enough faith in you that you can do this... with His support so you recognize His role in the partnership
He made you the way you are so that you could handle everything you're meant to handle in your life. And having the hope that we do is not about having the pain go away or even that there's a happy ending to it all.
It's about not suffering in vain. There is purpose to our difficulties.
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Saturday, November 24, 2007
What happens to love?
I had a love for a long time. A really long time. It was familiar, it went through different stages and certain aspects changed, but overall, it was safe, dependable and forgiving.
Somewhere along the way, another love began to grow. It started off as awareness, then interest, then a connection and then love. The object of this affection was much more flawed than the last. It was childish, unreliable, emotionally unavailable, ungrateful, and with a mountain of irritating bad habits.
Could I love both? Would that be fair? Was it even possible? Could I be the Chinese proverbial person who stands, one foot in each of the two boats?
As more attention moved towards the new love, a tension grew. It was frustrating to love both because each had its expectations and I had high standards for myself, insisting that doing things halfway was not my style. In order to completely dedicate myself to one love, it would mean dedicating less to the other. They were both on the same continuum. So I had to choose.
So I chose. I chose the uncontrollable that my heart would be in knots for, the sometimes unrequited nature that I would cry over, the love that would force me to stretch beyond my own capabilities to exhibit forgiveness, patience, compassion, grace, and mercy.
Though I had clearly chosen which side of the fence I was mentally falling in, it didn’t keep me from being taunted by emotions of the past. Reminiscing about what used to be, frustrated that things weren’t the same (though I knew very well why). I told myself that since I had chosen, I had to let go of the other. But I couldn’t.
As time went on, feelings for the old flame gradually began to wear off, mostly without my notice. I suppose when I had given up trying to force myself to stop holding on, it naturally left.
Since we parted ways, I had still caught wind of recent happenings, saw some pictures, and every now and then, we'd chat. Afterall, the social circle was only so big. I knew generally how the old love was getting on and I was pleased to feel nothing but sheer gladness knowing that I had made the right choice.
Until one day, I saw a certain picture and felt like a crash-test dummy in a cheap car. I had seen pictures before but a tiny irrelevant detail that was in this particular one triggered something. It reminded me of the way things were, something that I suddenly noticed I hadn’t thought about for a really long time.
I began to cry. They were not tears of sadness nor of joy, just tears. When saw the detail, I actually felt how long it took my brain to retrieve the ‘why is this familiar’ file from the ‘archived section’. I had let go. Without know it, I had done it. The file of memories that began at the front had been slowly moved to the back.
So why did I cry? I cried because it was gone. We humans are stupid like that, we want to be rid of something and when it’s finally gone, we miss it. Or we wish that it hadn't left without our knowing so at least we could officially say good-bye. I cried because a love that lasted so long was now a distant love. Knowing you’ll always care deeply but that they are not in the forefront of your heart. The love doesn’t disappear; it just changes its nature. Lastly, I cried because my reaction to the photo had proved to me that there was no option to go back. There was no want in me to do so.
Sometimes I wish there was. The love of the past has always made it clear that the door was open to come back, no grovelling needed. When times get rough, I wish I had it in me to want to go back, then I could ‘justify’ bailing on what I have now. But I don’t. You know you’re not meant to bail when you can’t even convince yourself of a good excuse to do so. I was supposed to choose the choice I chose.
Interesting how old loves reincarnate as rude awakenings...
(I wonder if the situation would be easier if this was actually about people...)
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I had a love for a long time. A really long time. It was familiar, it went through different stages and certain aspects changed, but overall, it was safe, dependable and forgiving.
Somewhere along the way, another love began to grow. It started off as awareness, then interest, then a connection and then love. The object of this affection was much more flawed than the last. It was childish, unreliable, emotionally unavailable, ungrateful, and with a mountain of irritating bad habits.
Could I love both? Would that be fair? Was it even possible? Could I be the Chinese proverbial person who stands, one foot in each of the two boats?
As more attention moved towards the new love, a tension grew. It was frustrating to love both because each had its expectations and I had high standards for myself, insisting that doing things halfway was not my style. In order to completely dedicate myself to one love, it would mean dedicating less to the other. They were both on the same continuum. So I had to choose.
So I chose. I chose the uncontrollable that my heart would be in knots for, the sometimes unrequited nature that I would cry over, the love that would force me to stretch beyond my own capabilities to exhibit forgiveness, patience, compassion, grace, and mercy.
Though I had clearly chosen which side of the fence I was mentally falling in, it didn’t keep me from being taunted by emotions of the past. Reminiscing about what used to be, frustrated that things weren’t the same (though I knew very well why). I told myself that since I had chosen, I had to let go of the other. But I couldn’t.
As time went on, feelings for the old flame gradually began to wear off, mostly without my notice. I suppose when I had given up trying to force myself to stop holding on, it naturally left.
Since we parted ways, I had still caught wind of recent happenings, saw some pictures, and every now and then, we'd chat. Afterall, the social circle was only so big. I knew generally how the old love was getting on and I was pleased to feel nothing but sheer gladness knowing that I had made the right choice.
Until one day, I saw a certain picture and felt like a crash-test dummy in a cheap car. I had seen pictures before but a tiny irrelevant detail that was in this particular one triggered something. It reminded me of the way things were, something that I suddenly noticed I hadn’t thought about for a really long time.
I began to cry. They were not tears of sadness nor of joy, just tears. When saw the detail, I actually felt how long it took my brain to retrieve the ‘why is this familiar’ file from the ‘archived section’. I had let go. Without know it, I had done it. The file of memories that began at the front had been slowly moved to the back.
So why did I cry? I cried because it was gone. We humans are stupid like that, we want to be rid of something and when it’s finally gone, we miss it. Or we wish that it hadn't left without our knowing so at least we could officially say good-bye. I cried because a love that lasted so long was now a distant love. Knowing you’ll always care deeply but that they are not in the forefront of your heart. The love doesn’t disappear; it just changes its nature. Lastly, I cried because my reaction to the photo had proved to me that there was no option to go back. There was no want in me to do so.
Sometimes I wish there was. The love of the past has always made it clear that the door was open to come back, no grovelling needed. When times get rough, I wish I had it in me to want to go back, then I could ‘justify’ bailing on what I have now. But I don’t. You know you’re not meant to bail when you can’t even convince yourself of a good excuse to do so. I was supposed to choose the choice I chose.
Interesting how old loves reincarnate as rude awakenings...
(I wonder if the situation would be easier if this was actually about people...)
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Sunday, October 14, 2007
In His Time
In His time, in His time,
He makes all things beautiful, in His time,
Lord, please show me everyday,
As You're teaching me Your way,
That You do just what You say, in Your time.
In Your time, in Your time,
You make all things beautiful, in Your time.
Lord, my life to Your I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time.
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In His time, in His time,
He makes all things beautiful, in His time,
Lord, please show me everyday,
As You're teaching me Your way,
That You do just what You say, in Your time.
In Your time, in Your time,
You make all things beautiful, in Your time.
Lord, my life to Your I bring,
May each song I have to sing,
Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time.
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Thursday, October 04, 2007
back to the basics
being almost 24 now, I don't often think about the things that have come naturally, things that I've known since I was young. some things either become habit or with others, you just grow out of the stage of needing them.
you don't think about how to brush your teeth or tie your shoes but if there's one thing that I've had to re-experience for the first time since being here, it's making friends.
it may sound totally silly because we're never really taught how to make friends. we just sort of get them and then they're sort of there. but the environment I'm in has forced me to re-learn. you don't think about what it was like in kindergarten when you met your first buddy and why that buddy became your friend. but now as an adult starting all over, I am mentally aware of every little bit that takes place in the process of making new friends.
there's something about sitting around a table with people who are there for the same reason you are and laughing and talking about things that matter to you without being stifled by the feeling of being misunderstood. there's something about a group of people, meeting in a completely foreign place from all over the world and enjoying the company of each other while knowing that they are struggling/delighting in the exact same things you are. there's something about the mutual understanding of chemistry in a group and the hopeful feeling of many more good moments to come.
tonight, i made new friends =)
well done, God. well done indeed.
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being almost 24 now, I don't often think about the things that have come naturally, things that I've known since I was young. some things either become habit or with others, you just grow out of the stage of needing them.
you don't think about how to brush your teeth or tie your shoes but if there's one thing that I've had to re-experience for the first time since being here, it's making friends.
it may sound totally silly because we're never really taught how to make friends. we just sort of get them and then they're sort of there. but the environment I'm in has forced me to re-learn. you don't think about what it was like in kindergarten when you met your first buddy and why that buddy became your friend. but now as an adult starting all over, I am mentally aware of every little bit that takes place in the process of making new friends.
there's something about sitting around a table with people who are there for the same reason you are and laughing and talking about things that matter to you without being stifled by the feeling of being misunderstood. there's something about a group of people, meeting in a completely foreign place from all over the world and enjoying the company of each other while knowing that they are struggling/delighting in the exact same things you are. there's something about the mutual understanding of chemistry in a group and the hopeful feeling of many more good moments to come.
tonight, i made new friends =)
well done, God. well done indeed.
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Thursday, September 13, 2007
So it turns out i DON'T have skin cancer...
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For the past 3 months or so I've discovered this itchy bumpy patch on my arm. It would itch more with sweating or sunshine. I thought nothing of it. 3 days ago, i got really curious and i googled 'early stages skin cancer'. and the pics that came up looked extremely similar to what was seen on my arm. I was alarmed at first but then decided that I would just get it checked out and freak out later.
I knew I couldn't go to the hospital by myself (language issues, medical terms, etc) so I asked my good local friend Aileen if she could come with me to the hospital sometime. I explained my problem and she said 'oh, i'm going to the dermatology hospital tomorrow, come with me then' (how convenient!) 'my aunt works there, no appointments needed' (how convenient indeed).
This morning, I meet her and her aunt at the hosp, we go upstairs and completely bypass the registration process. Completely bypass the lineup and see the best doctor there. We go in and after the diagnosis that i, in fact, DID NOT have skin cancer but was allergic to the sun in this area, she gave Aileen this crumpled up piece of paper, prescription and we left.
We go downstairs to the pharmacy and we, again bypass the line and head straight to the counter. Aileen gives her the crumpled printout, i pay the $ for the creams and we leave.
On the bus, Aileen explained to me the following: 1) we bypassed the line, didn't register and saw the best doctor cuz we knew someone there. 2) normally, you have to register when you get in and then you can get meds but since we didn't, i wouldn't be able to get the cream. So the crumpled up piece of paper was a printout for another patient (God knows who) and we used that person's name to get my meds.
Under the microscope, there are enough shady happenings here. And part of me felt uncomfortable about 1) not registering 2) bypassing lines 3) using someone else's name to get meds.
But the other part of me thought. If i didn't do it this way, I'd still be wondering if I had skin cancer or not. If i came here on my own, i would have 1) registered 2) lined up but then upon getting in there, explain the problem (which i can do) but not understand what the doc responds with.
Point of the story: in China there is a lot of unethical things taking place. and i find myself participating in some of those things, most of the time because I don't have a choice. and yes, it bothers me but no, there doesn't seem like there could be any way around it.
In this case, God definitely provided me with someone to help me out. Is it possible that God's blessing & provision was delivered through unethical means?
In this case, God definitely provided me with someone to help me out. Is it possible that God's blessing & provision was delivered through unethical means?
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